The list of things you shouldn’t say as a parent seems to be getting longer and longer. At first, we were told not to say, “Good job,” and then we were prohibited from saying “Take care.” (Just to be clear, I don’t see anything wrong with “good job” or “take care.” (Maybe not specific enough.) Now, the phrase “hurry up.” It was effectively cancelled.
The recent controversy over “hurry up” appears to have stemmed from a viral Instagram post that claimed that the number one cause of anxiety in children is parents rushing them. But almost every parent of a young child who goes to school or participates in literally every activity that happens at a given time has probably tried to rush their child out the door. So, is this really a cause for concern, or is it just another way for parents to make you feel guilty about something that’s quite normal?
I’m not the kind of person who would allow parents to be shamed without at least challenging the source of the claims, so I would like to ask the psychologist who made these bold statements to provide a link to the study she is referring to. I asked if you could send it to me. She sent me this article. That article claims that Hurry Kid Syndrome leads to stress and depression, but it doesn’t mention any actual research, and other articles on Hurry Kid Syndrome that are also not based on actual research. I’m just quoting the article. Additionally, the rushed child syndrome described in this article appears to be a broader concept than simply rushing your child out the door.
What is Hurried Kid Syndrome?
So where did this concept come from, if not based on research? Psychologist David Elkins, Ph.D., coined the term “Hurrying Child Syndrome” in his book The Hurrying Child, first published in 1981. I coined a term. According to Dr. Elkin, rushed child syndrome is when a child is “rushed to grow up too quickly.” For example, if a child is overscheduled in extracurricular activities, pressured to achieve, or expected to act older than their age. However, Hurrying Child Syndrome appears to be more of a theoretical concept rather than a formal diagnosis used by mental health professionals.
But does the word “hurry up” actually cause anxiety?
So while Hurry Kid Syndrome seems like a different concept than simply telling your child to “hurry up” from time to time, you might still wonder if rushing causes anxiety in your child. It appears that children being rushed on a regular basis can cause stress and even chronic anxiety. However, there is currently no evidence that saying “hurry up” or rushing your child causes anxiety or negative consequences. Research shows that anxiety disorders in children are caused by both genetic and environmental factors (in other words, factors with which they were born and raised), and it is unlikely that one factor alone causes anxiety disorders. Masu. Some studies have linked parental overcontrol to anxiety in children. This may look like not letting the child make any choices in the preparation process, not allowing the child to control the schedule at all, or not allowing the child to do everything for the child. Still, asking your child to hurry doesn’t seem overly controlling or intrusive. A broader study found that parenting accounted for only 4% of the variance in children’s anxiety, suggesting that parents’ parenting decisions alone are unlikely to cause anxiety disorders in their children. I am.
overall translation
There is no evidence that hurried child syndrome is a real concern for parents or that asking a child to “hurry up” causes anxiety. However, telling your child to “hurry up” may not be the most effective strategy, as it is not beneficial and teaches no skills. Additionally, rushing can cause more immediate stress for you and your child.
