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Most of being a parent can feel like the most thankless job in the world. You work tirelessly and pour our hearts and souls into giving your children your all, yet we never receive a word of sincere gratitude for all you have done for them. , you almost never even get a “thank you.” Of course, it’s nice to hear “thank you” once in a while, but is it really important to feel gratitude from your loved ones?
Previous research found that hearing “thank you” or any expression of gratitude can be important to the quality of relationships between lovers. But what about the quality of the relationship between parents and children, or between two partners who are also parents? study recently published positive psychology journal addressed this question by examining whether hearing the words “thank you” is associated with positive outcomes such as improved relationships, reduced parenting stress, and increased psychological well-being. .
Research content
The study involved 593 parents of children aged 4 to 17 years. All parents in this study were either married or in a romantic relationship. Parents completed a questionnaire about whether their family expressed gratitude to them, that is, the extent to which they expressed gratitude and recognition for the work their partners and children did for the family. The researchers also asked about their relationship with their partner, their level of parenting stress, and whether they had symptoms of psychological distress (feelings of tension, hopelessness, or depression). The researchers divided the children into younger groups (4 to 12 years old) and older groups (13 to 17 years old) to see if children’s age played any role.
Main findings
The researchers discovered that:
Feelings of gratitude from children (older and younger) lead to a reduction in the stress of raising children.. This seems especially true for gratitude from older children.
Appreciation from romantic partners and older children is associated with lower levels of psychological distress. This means that gratitude from family members is less likely to make you feel nervous, hopeless, or depressed.
Appreciation from romantic partners and spouses improves relationship quality, but does not reduce parenting stress. this will back up Previous research And we extend that to relationships in the context of parenting.
Mothers feel less valued than fathers. Mothers reported lower levels of appreciation from their partners and older children.
Gratitude may be more important to mothers than fathers. Gratitude seemed to have a greater positive impact on mothers than on fathers.
whole translation
The important thing here is that as a parent, it really matters whether you hear the words “thank you” or not. Feeling that your child or partner appreciates all your work can lead to better relationships, less stress in parenting, and less risk of psychological distress. Gratitude from your partner and gratitude from your children each seem to have unique benefits, so it may be important to receive gratitude from both. When it comes to gratitude from children, it seems more meaningful when it comes from older teenagers. This may be because older children are able to express their gratitude more honestly and specifically than younger children. Finally, gratitude may be more difficult to obtain and more meaningful for mothers than for fathers. the study We found that mothers, on average, take on about twice as much domestic labor as fathers. So it’s natural for mothers to expect more gratitude and be even more grateful when they receive it.
